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8:18 PM
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
okay.. so today, i experiences the worst experiences of all experiences...
so me and my couz decided to go indulge ourselves at a day in a lovely spa and decided that its time i lived up my name (sarah means princess)... i thot itll be as nice as it sounds but omg, was i in for pure torture!!!!!
firstly, i wanna tell every guy out there that they should thank their lucky star that theyre males.. u have no idea how lucky u are.. no idea..... so yea, i had to go for threading cuz i wanna look good for the wedding (i didnt do my eye brows).. omg, it was DREADFUL!!! it was sooo painful!! i left the room with the urge to burst out crying... omg.. it was horrible!!! its like having some sharped knife being rubbed strongly against ur skin....
then after that, i went for a coffee scrub.. haha.. ok.. that was the first time i had to go all commendoo!!!.. hahahaha.. as bad as it sounds, it was worse.. hahahah... shall keep the other details to myself, k?? then was the thai mud wrap.. ok that was funny.. being all wrapped up in plastic and FORCED to sleep when im feelin so claustrophobic.
and then the perfect combination treatment.. its a facial which killed me, literally.. she removed most of my facial imperfections with a freakin needle thingy... she dug here and dug there. the pain was unbearable but i tahan-ed it!! i did!! im so proud of myself! anyways, cuz of that, my nose feels like a newly born babies butt!! haha
i did other stuff too but shant bore u with it..and plus, most of it isnt for u to noe!!
the whole day costs abt 745.oo dhs... killa.. hahaha... gonna go back soon for another day of indulging and this time, without the torturing!
anyways, i enjoyed today weirdly...haha
ok.. BABY! LISTEN UP....... I NEED UR OPINION.. AND I HOPE U READ THIS WHEN U WAKE UP..... CHECK UR EMAIL... CHECK IT CHECK IT CHECK IT OR ILL BITE U... k? haha love u and miss u...............hehe mona's like .."eee so mushy".. haha we'll just see how more mushier helga and shrek are.. hahahaha.. muacks baby..
3:50 AM
Sunday, November 27, 2005
note to everyone...IF URE ANGRY, DONT FUCKIN TAKE IT ON EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON, ESP IF THE PERSON IS CLOSE TO YOU CUZ ITS FUCKING PISSING OFF.......
**its just a note, im not takin my anger on u..**
but seriously, wtf do u want me to do, pamper u and make u smile? i quitted that job already cuz i dun really care anymore......... and i dont care if ure pissed off just cuz that small thing..but u takin it on me when i am not fuckin involved with ur prob, thats just bullshit which i dun wish to even bother try to cheer u up with..
wateverrrrrrr............k? read my freakin lips... watever!!!!!!
and erm, baby, im sorry for the way ive been acting.. im just really lost.. i just want u to noe i love u fuddy.. i do.... :)....
10:06 PM
oh man.. this hating thing is prettyy tough for me, but when i do hate, man, the satisfaction..whoaa...
so yea, i kindda ran away from *you*... i mean im sorry i just ran off like that but i have my reasons....i mean honestly, i was seriously pissed and jealous at the same time so the mixture would really create unpleasantness but seriously.. how the hell do u think i felt when i ter-read "shes my best friend now" when i wanna be ur best friend too.. and to make matters worse, ure best friend is ur..well u noe wat she meant to u once.. so like that practically makes me second place... no matter how we try to hide it, thatll always be my position whether shes alive or dead.. im sorry im writin this on my blog but i dunno if i can go online tomorrow or if i want to..... cuz i wanna occupy myself.. i realised the more i go online, the more the reason im in uae disappears.. i mean i wanna run away from the problems and shit in singapore and here i am, online, gettin all kinds of crap.. the only non-problematic person i talk to is ***elias*** cuz man, he's always crackin me up with his perverntness and pornoficationatingness.. haha..crazy fella..
anyways, im just afraid of one thing.. my couz told me something.. and the last time she did, it turned out true.. and now im afraid it mite be true.. i mean i know u never wanna hurt me.. im not gonna lie and say i dun deserve u cuz i do deserve the best and ure the best.. but the thing is, im makin this hard for me and for u.. i dunno wats gotten into me, im not usually like this.. maybe im just so afraid that i mite lose u and i dun wanna but everything's just collapsing on mee....
**where did all my confidence in us go?????**
i dont noeee anymorrrrrrrrreee.. i never did.. oh shit.. i dunno wats happenin to me.. haiz.. watever it is, if **you** wanna talk to me or smth, email me and tell me wat time (SG) u'd be online and ill try to get myself to go online, ok??
****************...damn the world...******************
4:39 AM
Saturday, November 26, 2005
if theres one word to describe me...
itll be :FOOL
yup.. thats wat i am.. a freakin foooool.... damn the world.. damn everything....
i thot of wat ive been tellin everyone... ive been tellin them to smile.. to be more positive... and hoping they'd try that... but why didnt i ever think of being like them? negativeness.. i mean hey, if im smilin from only the inside, somethings really wrong.... dont u think?
so yea, i gotta change my ways... maybe i shld start hating... i shld try that.....cuz im reallly starting to hate things, people, everything.. i hate everything.. esp love.. i hate love.. and feelings.. wat bullshit.. its all bullshit.. love, life, me, u.. everything......
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
1:24 AM
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
1:04 AM
Friday, November 25, 2005
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone do what I've done
I missed life
I missed the colours of the world
Can anyone go where I am
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again
I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't do what I've done
And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
1:51 PM
Thursday, November 24, 2005
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!! someones watching a movie...huh!?!?!?!? while im stuck here!!!! hhahahahahahahaha.. *muackz* ahaha....
3:43 PM
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
im leaving.. on a jet plane.. i dont know when ill be back again...............
one hour til i go to the airport... dad wants to leave early so we dont rush in like kats grand entrance on the plane....
i dont noe how im feeling abt this trip... i wanna go cuz i wanna get out of this loophole yet, i wanna stay cuz i dont wanna hurt those who i love by making them miss me so much, ** you guys know who u r ((i love u guys!!))**
anyways, doubt id be staying long.... *2 mths tops,rite?* haha... oook i gotta go take a shower... love everyones who's loving me, and miss everyone who's gonna miss me..!!!!! *muackz*... dont forget me!!!
*to my moron: dont miss me too much,k? i want ya to have fun here, in ugly old singapore :P! take care.. loving you... and missing you already..........*
*to fuad..: hahahahahahah ;) *wink wink* ahem
*to jas: 11 times not enough yet, huh? hey, u have 2 whole months, OR MORE, to go look for a hoootttiee!!!!... and when u do, u shld go get her!!! haha... take care of urself.. if anythings bothering you, message me.. remember, ill alwayssss listennnn... haha.... missing you soo much and lovee ya!!
*to far: farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
*to sakoz: saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!
*to fadzil: hahaha someone loves himself a lil tooooo much ;)
*to everyone else: i love you and miss you
*to emirates: here i come, baby!!!!!
6:23 PM
ook im reallly pissed rite now.. and to think i was abt to let it all die away in silence....... i was asked not to bring u pain or torture or watever and i decided not to however i havent forgotten abt it and therefore i could change my mind anytime........ and rite now, all i wanna do, is fuckin kill you.......... u lied to me since the beginning? i bet u enjoyed being a lying, wait, of course u wld.. ure you..... thats the kindda shit u'd be doing to people... no wonder so many people hated you, and to think i was at your defence all the way.... if i knew you'd turn and diss me, i would have never bothered to look at your face or say a word to you for 4yrs............ becuz ure such a decieving bitch... if i were u, i would have killed myself a long time ago, cuz id be thinkin to myself wat a disgrace i am to the society....... ure a disgrace... i deleted u off my everything includin my memories. all the pics we took together, ur face is invisible to me....there's no more 'good' memories between us.... and if there were,maybe during the time u werent lying, i would throw that memory away, cuz they mean nothing to me... nothing.. and im glad....revenge was never my area however that doesnt mean i cant do it, and when i do it, u'd wish u never got on my bad side................
((to the other ppl, who actually is reading this entry, im trynnna be as nice as possible, cuz its my last day and i dont wish to ruin it becuz of that person))
10:28 AM
Monday, November 21, 2005
Something 'bout the way you looked at me
Made me think for a moment,
That maybe we were meant to be
Living our lives seperately
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately
[Chorus:]
Oh why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving it in but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately
You looked my way and said "you frustrate me"
Like you're thinking of lines and times
When you and I were you and me
We took our chance out on the street
Then I missed my chance
And chances are it won't be coming back to me
Why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving in, but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it strange that things change
But not me wanting you-
So desperately
So desperately
[CHORUS]
I keep giving in but I should know better
I keep giving in but I should know better
So desperately
I want you so desperately
3:03 AM
Sunday, November 20, 2005
**something strange has come over me.. got me going outta my mind.. **
i dont noe.. ive been thinking.. and i guess i cant always get wat i want.. but if i try somehow ill get wat i need.. isnt that wat the rolling stones said? theyre right..
maybe i cant or shouldnt get u cuz i guess friendship is wat we need.. but thats wat only a part of me thinks..the other part wants u soooo bad....... needs u soo bad.... but arent we humans supposed to resist temptations? or should we give in and bring happiness into our lives?? arghh!! im stuck! im in a dilemma.. ive pushed myself into an abyss.. help.... anyone... someone.. sigh...............
8:07 PM
Friday, November 18, 2005
i went hari raya-ing with my friends today for the first time in my entire life... we all looked sooo pretty/handome.. hahaha... however the book never had the perfect ending which i had always wished for.. i never made it to issys house.. and it kills cuz its 5yrs.. and i was hoping this year would be the year... haiz.....
i really wanna go... :(
**I WANNA MEET HIS MOM!!!!!!and the fooodddd... I HEARD SHE ROCKS THE SOCKS OUTTA EVERYONEE!**
so yea... im back home........ wondering why everythings the way it is... why do people keep wanting more... why do people have feelings they dont wanna have... why do people who smile a lot ends up being the bruised ones..... haiz... those kindda questions keep hittin my mind, makin me so upset with life..... where's my positiveness in life? where did it all go? ...... i need it back cuz im in a very fragile state rite now......... haiz.......
i always go by life with bob marleys lines in my head but today i wonder...is everything reaallly gonna be alrite????.....................
to someone:**hey.. please dont get all upset.. im only going for a while... and im reallly really sorry if i bring in that much misery.. i dont mean to.. and if u want, i can end everything with u to stop makin u so upset...and sleeping isnt the only way to 'numb' urself... there are 'some' people who can make u smile and forget abt the worst..... theres ............... nvm....."
11:42 PM
some and others...
i dun get it..... to some people its wonderful to help others.. and to others helping is not enof.... to some knowing another is more that enof and to others, just knowing isnt...... to some people being different is all they want.. and to others, they dont wanna be the black sheep.... to some people, feelings are like diamonds to be precious and treasured, and to others, theyre just like stones that were meant to be thrown.... to some knowing the truth explains everything, to others, knowing the truth is just a lie.... to some, everything is forgiven... to others, nothing goes down without a fight....
the conclusion?.. all i seem to know is people who are "others" and not "some"...
Singing this song by booboo...... "i know a place"
When the whole world lets you down
And there's nowhere for you to turn
Cause all of your best friends let you down-own-own
And you tried to accumulate
But the world is full of hate
So all of your best thoughts, just adrift through space
I know a place where we can carry on
I know a place where we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
And this people like you, ooh people like me
People need to be free yeah
There’s a place in the sun where there is love for everyone
Where we can be yeah
I know a place where we can carry on
I know a place where we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
Yeah when the whole world lets you down
And there's nowhere for you to turn
Cause all of your best friends have a let you d-down, down-own-own
And you tried to accumulate
But the world is full of hate
So all of your best thoughts, just adrift through space
I know a place where we can carry on
I know a place where we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on
We can carry on, we can carry on...
8:56 AM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
no im not inlove!!
or am i?.. noo.. i cant be... or can i? im nottt...... i am... i dont wanna be... but am i? i shouldnt be.... or should i? nooo.. i cant be... i just cant..... am i????????????
2:59 AM
Saturday, November 12, 2005
its been such a rough day...in general, ive been emotionally disturbed.
the major one?.. well, ive felt so weird after my maths paper... i think its the thot of kat leaving sg that nite for good....
i dont understand.. i couldnt wait for her to go.. and now when shes gone, i want her back.....tears just keep running down my face... its so hard to let go.. why? and u havent even had ur weddin yet..wat would happen then???? i hate mohd for taking you away..... why... u dont have to go... uve always made a stand for ur right, wat happened here... why must u leave everyone and everything behind?
when i came back home from the airport, and walked towards my room...i saw ur room door.. with the lights switched off.. it was deserted...it was empty.. u were not there.. and u wont be any more.... i havent cried this heavily all my life... this is so painful.................when would my tears run out? why wont it? im so tired of crying so heavily that my everything hurts... i cant even breathe rite and my head aches..
im really sorry if i made ur life a living hell.. i am...from deep deep deep down... if only u could see the tears im cryin and feel the pain im going thro cuz of ur absence...
haiz.... u couldve at least hugged me..............
i think i need to sleep or else my heads gonna explode and my heart fractured. so good nite.... im praying for mamas,urs, bakury and abudi's safety... 
youre missed already.
1:17 AM
Saturday, November 05, 2005
oh man.. o's are just a breath away... 48hours left and counting...... i need to stay awake for every second.. so being so immune to caffeine from coffee and coke, i have to turn to disgusting red bull.....
cant stay long to write, need to study!! grrrr...
stressed and eye-bagged me.. cheers everyone..
good luck for your o's...!
1:24 AM
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
woohooo ramadan's finallly over!!!!!!!! i can finally eat in broad daylight!! but im kindda missing fasting already.... and the worst parts is abt this ramadan is that i didnt get to go to geylangs bazaar and that i dunno when laylat al kadir was!!!! grr!!!... oh well..
eid mubarak everyone!!!
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!!!!!!
Maaf zahir Batin!!
Sorry everyone if i had done something bad to u, intimidate you or made you hate me for watever reasons ((im not referring to u ****..u dont deserve any sorries from me..not now, not during hari raya, not ever...)).........anyways, forgive me for watever wrong stuff ive done!! may you have a wonderful eid!....... love y'alll!!!
9:54 PM
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
ive just read zilly (fadzil) and fuddys blogs..and theres something in common in both of their blogs.....however the only difference is, zillys optimistic but fuddys all pessimism..
i mean i agree with zilly said :quote, that everything happens for a reason..and for good reasons, unquote. we wont really realise its a good thing until later in the future.. and thats kindda the prob with a lotta people, they dont realise a bad thing is just a moulding of something positive waiting to happen... eg 1: if we were given 110% freedom by our parents, dont u think by the time we reach 30, we'd probably be tattooed all over and struggling to pay the bills?.. i mean i personally question my freedom by my parents but come to think abt it, looking at those people who have all the freedom end up living a life with discontent in the future compared to those who were granted freedom once in a while... another eg is if our teachers never yelled at us, would we bother to bring our books the next day? would we even bother to come to school?.... and if u analyse it, the teachers are just trying to get u educated so u can carry all your knowledge with u to the future and get good jobs, and a good life..
on the other hand, zilly also said that, quote, zillys blog,things happen for the benefit of everyone, unquote. i have to disagree with that..its not always for the benefit of everyone... its actually more to the benefit of oneself, of yourself.... back to eg 1: ur parents limiting ur freedom is to the benefit only you... not everyone.. ure friedns have the benefit, come to think abt it, theyd be more pissed that u cant go out!!
fuad... i dont know wat the prob is ((and u should tell me btw! its not fair.. i tell u everything!!)),but watever it is, try looking on the brightside.... ure too negative...i realised at least 80% of ur enteries are all so negative... why dont u ever write when ure happy??..... and if u were to be dead in the yr 2001, who the hell would make me laugh by telling me to study when he himself isnt!!... one more thing, lighten up on the vulgarities.. cuz its just gonna provoke you..so now take a deep breath... and go study!! (hehe)
yey! 30 hrs to go......before eid/hari raya!!...
6:37 PM
